I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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