Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
