no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
