I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
