I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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