I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
