He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize