im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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