my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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