the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
