I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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