The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
