She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
