well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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