So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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