This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
