I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
