If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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