so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
