I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She needs sedatives and a leash
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
