Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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