There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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