bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
