Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
