but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
only if we run a train.
done.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
