You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
