i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
