look no pants
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
