I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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