My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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