VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
