I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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