I wanna bring you to show and tell
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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