I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
