I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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