no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Whod you bang
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
