bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
