im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
