Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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