just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
