: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Randomize
