if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You smell like stripper and shame
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize