So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
