oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
