Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
A bitchslap is in order.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
