Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
