so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
they're like a gay fantastic four
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize