were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
