dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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