THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
