ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
