Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
did you just send me my own nude
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
