Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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