I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize