So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
