Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
