the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
