it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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