this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
