Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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