should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
