I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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